Talking about money in relationships: 7 ways to calmer conversations
Have you ever put off a conversation about money?
Talking about money in relationships can feel really difficult, especially if you feel that there could be conflict or anxiety when financial issues come up. Being clear with your intentions can really help resolve tension in relationships. Money conversations can also help people in times of change or through difficult times if the worst should happen.
Here are 7 ways to calmer conversations:
Choose your timing- when is best to talk about money? Think about when you feel calm and relaxed such as after you’ve eaten (so you are not hungry!), when you are less likely to be distracted, or during time off over the weekend perhaps.
Schedule regular check-ins so talking about financial admin becomes part of your routine. Would this be better before or after you have been paid?
Make it a money date! It doesn’t need to be boring, make a drink, light a candle, whatever works for you to make it feel less of a chore.
Set a timer for a quick check-in so that it doesn’t have to take long and it’s ticked off your list!
Where do you have your best conversations? Is it when you are walking, driving, or at the kitchen table? If you are side by side with someone, money conversations can feel less confrontational if you need to start a difficult conversation.
Think about what the aim of the conversation is and what you would like to achieve from it. Be clear about what you need to discuss
. What’s your money goal- is it to update your budget, plan a holiday or save for a wedding or home?
Keep your language neutral so that discussion can take place without judgement. If you start a conversation negatively it may not lead to the outcome you are looking for! How can we start paying off our debts? may be better than when are you going to stop spending?
Some people also benefit from talking without judgement to someone impartial, especially if you feel that there is no one that you feel comfortable speaking to. You can work with me to coach you in confidence to gain clarity on the decisions you are facing. You can book a free discovery call here. If you prefer to find money clarity yourself, I have created tools to guide you which you can find here: Resources
